I've heard some people talk about the hardest reminders of losing a pet. Some folks are moved at the sight of the pet's collar, food dish, or toys. Others talk about the unbearable quiet of the house. We were reminded of the loss when we found extra time on our hands.
We never realized just how much time we spent taking care of Maggie. Whether it was getting her out to potty, sometimes more than once per night, or making sure she had food in her belly as soon after she got up in the morning to avoid an upset stomach, there was always something to take care of. We had always referred to Maggie as our "high dollar dog." She was from a reputable breeder with healthy parents. Her father was a champion mastiff. We decided on a top quality breeder as opposed to the less expensive breeders. She had no health problems in the beginning, and wasn't the runt of the litter. By all standards, she should not have had issues. But, very early in her life it became clear that "high dollar" was a nick name that would follow her.
When we looked back, we counted how many surgeries she had. There was the surgery to spay her, and some mild complications from that one - incision wouldn't close and had to be re-sutured and re-stapled more than once. There was the surgery to straighten and lengthen her back leg due to a growth disorder. There were two surgeries shortly thereafter to control infection in that same leg, and another surgery to finally remove all the plates, pins, and screws in her leg after the bone had finally healed. There was the knee surgery she had after tearing her CrCL (dog's version of a human ACL) while playing in the yard. Then there was a surgery to remove a large plum-sized mass on her front paw. It turned out to be benign, but it was a surgery nonetheless. And finally, there was the last surgery she had: a bone biopsy to determine whether she had cancer. In all, Maggie had a surgery for every year of her life. As such, there was a lot of time we spent taking care of her.
There were also some surgeries she didn't have. She had a recessed vulva which resulted in constant urinary tract infections. Our choices were to have the surgery, or make sure that we wiped her clean and dry every time she came in from going potty. Since we didn't have the heart to put her through more surgeries than absolutely necessary, we opted to wipe her every time she did her business. We also made sure that she had certain supplements in her diet to help ward off infections.
There were also a number of suspected fatty masses in various places on her body. Since none were that large and didn't seem to be affecting her quality of life, we opted to let those stay. She also had some hip issues. We chose to monitor her movement and control the pain medically rather than subject her to more surgery. She had trouble going up the stairs, so often we'd have to lift her back end for her to get her going. We had to do the same in order to help her into the bed.
Beyond surgeries, Maggie suffered from a wide variety of random ailments. She got terrible ear infections. To keep these at bay, we cleaned her ears sometimes as often as every day. In the spring and the fall, her allergies would flare up causing her terrible itching, painful, and swollen feet. We had pad wipes and a cream for that. There were also daily doses of allergy pills which we tried in vain to hide in cheese, hot dogs, and other food. Maggie would manage to eat the food around the pill and spit the pill out. So, we spent time shoving our hands in her throat to get the pills down.
All in all, we spent a lot of time on a daily basis taking care of our little girl. After losing her, we realized just how much. Once we got back on our "regular" schedules, we both found ourselves sitting idly waiting for the time that we would leave for work. Suddenly, there was an extra 30-45 minutes, and sometimes an extra hour. That was time we had spent taking care of Maggie's needs. Now we just had that extra time to sit and wait and think about why we were sitting and waiting.
I've never been one to whine about having more free time...until now. I'd often made the remark that if only the day were about an hour longer, I'd get so much more done. I got that extra hour, but would give it back in a heartbeat. I don't get anything more done unless you count sitting still and wishing we had our Maggie back.
We like to think that Maggie gave us some practice for having kids. She may not have known it, but she did a very good job preparing us. In the short time we had her, I can't remember ever getting a full night's rest at home. When traveling, I would often spring awake at 3 in the morning because I was so rested...my body wasn't used to 6 restfully continuous hours of sleep! There was the occasional morning upset tummy and vomit that occurred if we waited too long to get her breakfast. There was also the rare accident in the house. There was even broken furniture and dented drywall from rough housing indoors. There were ever present messes to clean up, and endless body parts to wipe, clean, dry, and otherwise take care of. There were many, many doctor's appointments, and even a few trips to the emergency room. We even endured the agony of whining and crying while of dropping off at boarding for a day (like day care) or a weekend (like a babysitter), only to be greeted with an excited smile from Maggie and a report from the caretaker that she was happy and played well with others. There was evening tired crankiness when she wanted to go to bed, but we weren't ready to go up yet...so she'd throw a fit and pout until we finally came upstairs. There were "arguments" over what was in the dish for breakfast or dinner. Like my parents, I "gave her the choice": eat what we're serving or go hungry. Also like my parents, Mike and I usually won those battles.
Maybe someday we'll have human children, or naked puppies as we call them in our house. Our furry children, mostly Maggie, taught us much and have prepared us well. Until then, we'll take our extra time, hours each week we would rather not have back, to sit and wait and think about why we are sitting and waiting.
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